New Year – New Beginnings – Same Old Traditions

So Chinese New Year is finally here already. Which means… it’s the month of February already. Isn’t it unbelievable how we have already zoom on to the second month. Was really looking forward for this as its that time of the year where you meet up your Aunties, uncles and cousins. A time for a little catch up which really didn’t hurt anyone.

One thing we started was doing the old chinese tea serving ceremony for the nephews to learn. Something which I used to do when I was a kid growing up in my family.

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传统 means “Tradition”

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We try so hard to instruct our children in all the right things – teaching good from bad, explaining choices and consequences ― when in reality most lessons are learned through observation and experience. Perhaps we’d be better off training our youth to be highly observant. It is a great way of “teaching values” to the kids to learn and perhaps in the future when they have their own family, they will take up the tradition and it lives on.

I pray that they do this one day….

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If I ever get married, I would like to have a wife like my brother. Their marriage is such a beautiful blessing. In life, we come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly. It’s an amazing journey witnessing their marriage and how they work things out with one another. You just can see the love from one another.

Heading down to melaka to spend time with Dad was a great one. We had an awesome dinner and great catchup with him.

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Can you imagine us doing a funny face with my dad. Yeap… We actually did it. LOL!

I shall end this post here. More updates soon. A lot of exciting things happening in the month of March, the birthday month.

The one where I’m feeling my lowest

I have a lot to say at this moment but I’m sorry to say that I have to be cryptic about it because the lord knows only who is reading this blog.

A lot of things are happening at this moment where I don’t feel supported in any kind of ways from church friends and also friends who I look up to when I feel I need to talk and get assurance that what I’m doing is right or heck even if I’m wrong, I just need to know it’s ok to be wrong for awhile.

So yeah, perhaps I feel alone and having no one close to talk to. I want to give a damn but somehow I shouldn’t allow my feelings to get werk up about it. Perhaps I asked it, so what? Can’t I just get some love around here? Why does it always me having to be fucking responsible one when its not me who created the fucking problem? So yeah I started it off but my intentions are not those from who are creating the new kind of stories but again if you are source of everything why does it have to be me? I didn’t create those kind of new sources, those didn’t come from me but from other people modifying my stories.

Honestly I’m at a breaking point and I was not looking for this kind of attention seeking from people but having people who come to you and correct everything you say because they just had to is just not cool in my books.

I just can’t do this anymore and it is affecting me on shifting to different moments where I know I became rude to someone I’m closed with because he was coming over late and I had to tell him to be responsible when really, it’s not about him but its more about me. I wanted to correct him because he corrected me all the time and I know he wants the best for me but sometimes I don’t want to be stand corrected but perhaps I just want to make my own decisions by my very own. I may sound shallow and self centered but I like making my own decisions even I’m wrong.

I felt terrible and I couldn’t find the courage to talk to him or even apologize about the matter. Guilt you may say and I just ignored the person and didn’t acknowledge his existence the minute he walk into the door till the end of the dinner.  I could hear him taking a heavy breath in and perhaps he probably wouldn’t be bothered by this whole bit but again, that’s just him.

I just didn’t know how to be honest on my own true feelings towards people and I’m soaking all of it and not finding a way to let go.

I honestly need an outlet to simply let go and be myself. Perhaps I should let it all go and reinvent myself over again with new things in my mind which I have set forth.

This too shall past.

I just need to find it on what I really want and focus on it. Perhaps the spacing of the friendships are good as I focus  more on myself and worry more about myself more then those around me creating stories of what happen or could happen.

Day 04: The One Where I Was Busy

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Hectic day and to rush out for a meet up with friends but I need to settle my dinner first.

Wanted to have instant noodles but with dishes. So I made this today.

Mui choy stew chicken cube
Teow chew style braised pork
Spicy fried long bean wt belacan

It’s amazing when you have pork cubes in a can and Mui Choy in your pantry. Made the Mui Choy Stew the night before so it was easy peasy warm up for me today.

It’s been awhile since I had instant noodles so today was really a nice meal to go along with. 🙂

Sidenote: I definately need to increase my vegetable cooking recipes repertoire … 🙁